


Acacia

by AliceinHyruleBastion



Series: 花束的心跳 [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Childhood Friends to Lovers, M/M, Tsukishima Kei being dumb, but we love him anyway, character/relationship study, soft fic, such a delicious tag, there's illness but it ain't serious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-14 02:46:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14761130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliceinHyruleBastion/pseuds/AliceinHyruleBastion
Summary: ‘Actions speak louder than words’-It was a truth Tsukishima Kei took to heart.But a realization of silent words would trip him up, force him to look past what he knew and delve into the hidden truths he knew very well were lurking just behind his breastbone.There was only one person who made him question all that he knew about the heart and its depths-Yamaguchi Tadashi.





	Acacia

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again, and welcome to my new series!  
> This one's just a short Tsukkiyama with realizations and the occasional hospital visit, plus a very specific sweater...  
> Short and sweet! I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Note: I've never written Tsukki before and he was HARD, holy shit  
> Also, I study fish, not people, so I don't know how illness works, but I worked with my friend Google and did my best!!

_ [Delicate dots of gold flowers speckling a single sprig, the Acacia symbolizes  _ **_hidden or concealed love,_ ** _ usually representative of a  _ **_secret admirer._ ** _ ] _

  
  


_ Actions speak louder than words. _

It was a truth Tsukishima Kei took to heart. 

 

He was never particularly vocal. He preffered to be outright blunt when needed to end whatever annoyance was bothering him at the time- girls, his brother, his mother, classmates- the list went on. However, he didn’t waste energy on pointless actions either, essentially keeping a public persona of  _ I don’t care.  _

 

He’d heard the names, the insults, the accusations: 

 

_ He’s heartless.  _

_ So cruel.  _

_ Rude! Did you hear what he said to me? _

_ You’re so cold, Tsukishima.  _

 

He never let them bother him, finding them absent-minded and empty. 

 

_ Why waste energy engaging someone else’s power play? It’s exhausting.  _

 

So, he continued the charade until it became one and the same, slowly finding creative outs for the slips of expression he let through; taunts, teasing, polite insults, the very edge of emoting. He was fine with it, fine with being  _ that weird quiet kid, Tsukishima Kei,  _ never once believing he’d ever need to bond with another person- he just found it  _ useless.  _

 

Oh how wrong he’d been. 

(He cursed his past ignorance.) 

 

Yamaguchi Tadashi, a stone skipped over a placid pond, a gentle disruption like the sound of laughter in a silent forest;  _ he  _ was enough to make Tsukishima trip, to keep a warm flame flickering somewhere in him, making cogs turn in his mind as he unconsciously sought out his company once he finally learned to work around his initial recoiling at a person who genuinely wanted to be his friend. 

 

There were many things Tadashi was- kind, patient (tenacious would be more accurate, Tsukishima would eventually learn), blunt when needed, whip-smart-

 

But in all, there was one sole purpose he had, one single explanation to prove the impossible: 

_ Yamaguchi Tadashi was the proof that Tsukishima Kei had a heart.  _

 

\-------

 

There were lots of rules of Tsukishima’s that Tadashi managed to break.

For example- sharing.

 

As a rule of thumb, Tsukishima didn’t share much of anything; time, attention, things, money, breath, words, et cetera. Yet, somehow, he found himself sharing those  _ exact  _ things with Tadashi. (Nowadays it was almost second nature, a breath, a minute in space-)

 

He remembers back when they first met, being irritated and somewhat confused by Tadashi and his general disposition, remembers vividly thinking  _ If he’s this stubborn that he refuses to leave me alone then he should have used some of that to ward off those bullies  _ and blandly repeating said thought to his brother upon being asked what was annoying him. He thought him a nuisance, but nothing to the degree that Hinata was now, a walking poster child for  _ I’m a hyperactive idiot,  _ but something passive that would fade away like everyone else usually did (his ‘friends’, his father, his brother)- 

 

But he didn’t. 

And Tsukishima found himself sharing menial things with the boy, small quips and responses and the occasional slips of praise that left Tadashi beaming through the baby fat and freckles on his cheeks.

(Instead of rolling his eyes, Tsukishima found himself pleased by Tadashi’s reaction, warming him from the inside out. It was perplexing, even to this day.) 

 

And so they stayed and they shared- words, space, time,  _ everything,  _ to the point where it became known that if you need to find one of them, you’re bound to find the other. 

 

_ Tsukishima, the heartless, Yamaguchi, the faithful-  _ and odd combination, yet it just somehow made  _ sense.  _

 

It made sense to hear Tadashi shorten his name to  _ Tsukki,  _ made sense to never yell at him for it and to feel oddly jealous when others used his nickname, made sense to never leave his side, made sense to become a common facet in the Yamaguchi household, made sense mentally refer to him as  _ Tadashi- _

 

It made sense, but it was unexplainable, and frankly it pissed him off. 

 

Inseparable, like a branch and a vine, feeding off of each other in an equal match for the sunlight-

They’d always had a silent growing match going on, like when Tadashi hit a massive growth spurt the first year of middle school and shot up like a weed, giving Tsukishima a minor heart attack as he tried to envision a Tadashi that was taller than him and was horrified by the idea, thankfully releasing a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding when Tadashi finally slowed down. 

(That still didn’t stop Tadashi from reminding him of that time, though.) 

 

Vaguely, Tsukishima remembers a hazy memory from the, hearing the sound of his mother knocking on his bedroom door-

 

_ “Hey, Kei, are you busy?” _

 

_ “I am, but I can stop for a minute. Do you need something?” _

 

_ “Do you remember the sweater you asked me to fix for you earlier this week?” _

 

_ “Yes- you told me it was too small and that you were going to throw it away. What about it?” _

 

_ “Well, I just realized that since Tadashi’s been growing a lot now it could probably fit him if I fixed it up; I wanted to ask first, but I figured you wouldn’t have a problem with it. Is that alright?” _

 

_ “If you were just going to do it anyway, why did you ask me?” _

 

_ “Kei-” _

 

_ “It’s alright, I don’t mind. You already said it was too small as it is.” _

 

(Black and soft with tiny white stars stitched across the surface in delicate silvery constellations-

It was his favorite, yet instead of being upset with his mother for giving it away, he felt content at knowing where it was going.) 

 

(He didn’t know if Tadashi still had it or not.)

(He pretended not to wonder if he did.) 

 

In short, Tsukishima was painfully aware of how cemented Tadashi had become in his life, how much they grew into each other and helped the other bloom-

 

He’s watched Tadashi’s shyness become quiet resolve, a stone flame, watched how he jumped to Tsukishima’s defense and praise like an echo (or a twisted image) of what Tsukishima did for Tadashi all those years ago, watched as Tadashi developed a tongue just as sharp (if not sharper) than Tsukishima’s own-

 

Yet in all of that, there was always one thing Tsukishima realized Tadashi always had that Tsukishima didn’t: a heart of compassion. 

 

It was this revelation that led to another, one that unsettled Tsukishima to a degree he didn’t realize was possible despite its truth, ending up as a twisting staircase downward on which Tsukishima had no traction:

 

One- he was  _ jealous,  _ jealous in his petty heart-of-hearts, and….

Two- there a was deadly, deadly emotion that was nipping at his brainstem, a four-letter word that turned Tsukishima’s lungs to ash. 

 

(He wouldn’t dare say it, because once he did it would become real, and he didn’t know how to face that.)

 

\--------

  
  
  


It’s been a day since Tsukishima last saw Tadashi. 

More accurately, it’d been nearly a day and a half, but it wasn’t like he was counting. 

_ (Liar.)  _

 

It was cold and heavy for a spring day- normally Tadashi’s favorite time of year because he liked to see the flowers bloom- and Tsukishima noticed how it weighed down on Tadashi, turning his face unhealthily pale to the point that his freckles stood out like pinpoints on a map. 

 

_ “If you’re not feeling well, you should go home,”  _ Tsukishima had said to him, “ _ you don’t need to follow me around if you’re miserable.” _

 

No quip, no bright comment back-  _ something’s off. _

 

_ “Ah, sorry, Tsukki, I didn’t mean to put you off,”  _ Tadashi said, his lack of brightness like an alarm bell to Tsukishima. “ _ I’m fine; just haven’t been sleeping well.” _

 

_ “Your skin doesn’t turn the color of paper when you’re sleep deprived, nor does it make you cough like that, Yamaguchi.”  _ Blunt, direct- in Tsukishima-language?  _ Worried.  _

 

Tadashi didn’t reply directly, instead waving him off and insisting he was fine as they split off to head home, insisting that he’d call if something was wrong. 

That night, Tsukishima worked on his homework with his phone right beside him, ringer on and face up-

 

The phone never rang, nor even buzzed with a usual message. 

 

So, he wasn’t surprised when Tadashi didn’t show up to school the next day, resigning himself to the realization that for the first time in a long while that he’d have to go to school alone without Tadashi being his barrier for a day. He told himself he’d go straight to his house afterward, pretending it didn’t have the worried slant to it that he felt thrumming in his ribcage. 

 

_ I’m sure he’ll send a message at some point.  _

(He didn’t.) 

 

His phone felt like lead in his pocket, yet he couldn’t bring himself to send a text of his own, gritting his teeth as his pride and his own human emotions warring with each other-  _ petty, petty, petty.  _

 

***

 

By the time practice came around, Tsukishima had long grown irritated of the surprised declarations of  _ Tsukishima without Yamaguchi? What, is it going to snow?  _ he heard just about every ten minutes, tired of explaining Tadashi’s absence and reliving the same visceral flush of fear each time he said the words ‘he’s not feeling well’. It left his mind fuzzy and off-kilter, and when Daichi called him and Hinata for receiving practice, he took more hits to his chest or let one fall than he actually received. 

 

While Hinata jeered and laughed, Tsukishima shook his head and adamantly ignored him, shaking his hands out as Kageyama geared up for another hit toward them. (He ignored Kageyama’s odd expression, ignored how all eyes seemed to be on him, ignored how he felt like he was missing a layer of protection around him and was burning like an oxidizing sky-)

 

“Oi, you better actually hit a good one this time, Kageyama!” Hinata called, and Kageyama froze with a half-insulted  _ “Huh?”  _ in his mouth that tore Tsukishima out of his head, grounding him. It felt like such more effort to keep himself focused now, like the steps he normally climbed had crumbled away. It was foolish, that line of thought, but it was a better explanation for it. 

 

For once, Tsukishima thanked the idiot duo as they started yelling once again, nose-to-almost-nose through the net as they bickered loudly enough for Suga to jog over and tell them off, giving Tsukishima time for a water break.

 

Sighing, he leaned down to pick up his bottle and a take a drink, leaning against the paneling by the door as he watched the mayhem go down, but for once it didn’t bring him as much amusement as it normally did. He knew why, knew the cause, and ended up just quietly groaning as he pushed his glasses up onto the top of his head to rub at his eyes.  _ This is all one big headache.  _

 

Blowing out a deep breath, he kept his eyes shut as he listened to the noise around him, pausing when he heard faint muffled conversation from just outside the door,  catching the faint syllables of his name: 

 

_ “He should be right in here, miss; I think Sawamura’s running drills with them, but I can pull him out briefly if Ukai’s alright with it.”  _

 

_ “Thank you so much- I didn’t mean to cause any trouble!”  _

 

_ “It’s alright, really!”  _

 

The conversation stopped as the door slid hesitantly open. Tsukishima leaned toward the door to see who was outside, seeing Takeda with a woman by his side with familiar dark hair, the same bright spray of freckles over her skin, and the same nervous twist of her hands. Tsukishima’s eyes widened as he saw her. “What are you doing here, Aika?” 

 

Takeda jumped at the sound of his voice, but Tsukishima paid no mind to him as Yamaguchi Aika spoke. “I- we- okay, we tried calling you, Kei, but you weren’t answering your phone, so I decided to just come here instead because-” 

 

Tsukishima waved a hand to cut her off, ignoring the flash of panic in the realization that when they finally called him it was when his phone was off and in his backpack. “Why are you here  _ now?”  _ he rephrased, and she froze, the guilt flickering over her face making Tsukishima’s stomach drop. 

 

She let out a low breath before looking him in the eye. “Tadashi’s in the hospital,” she said, and Tsukishima nearly choked on nothing. 

 

_ “What?”  _

 

She nodded solemnly. “The doctor says he’s alright, but he just came down with a nasty case of pneumonia and that- what are you…?” 

 

Tsukishima had turned on his heel and marched toward the changing room despite her being in the middle of a sentence, blood pounding in his ears.

 

“Where are you going, Tsukishima?” Daichi called as Tsukishima shoved open the door to disappear inside the room, tugging on his sweatpants and his jacket. 

 

“Out,” Tsukishima called dryly as he hooked one finger around the strap of his bag to sling it over his shoulder as he made a beeline for the door, ignoring the calls of confusion and indignation. “Let’s go,” he said to Aika, who nodded despite looking startled, and started heading out. 

 

He could hear Takeda’s frantic explanation behind him as they walked away, feeling his heart racing despite the ice of his face. 

 

***

 

_ “What? What do you mean he’s in the hospital?!” _

 

_ “Is he okay?”  _

 

_ “Is he gonna die?!”  _

 

_ “Hinata, what the hell?”  _

 

_ “He’s fine, everyone, he’s fine! His sister said he just passed out is all; he’s on medication now until his lungs clear up, but I don’t know any more than that.”  _

 

_ “Is Tsukishima alright?”  _

 

_ “Yeah- he totally bolted outta here like a bat out of hell.”  _

 

_ “I don’t know, really. It  _ **_is_ ** _ Yamaguchi, after all.”  _

 

_ “It’s not as if we ever know what Tsukishima’s thinking, especially when it comes to  _ **_him._ ** _ ” _

 

_ “.... I just hope they’re both alright.” _

 

_ *** _

 

White walls, white noise, white smell, white static-  _ I hate hospitals.  _

 

Further and further down the halls they walked, the sound of their shoes echoing Tsukishima’s heartbeat as they edged closer and closer toward Tadashi’s room, the numbers 112 buzzing in his brain.  _ (One-twelve, step, one-twelve, step-)  _

 

“His room’s right here,” Aika said quietly, making Tsukishima pause and look up to where the numbers glared at him from the panel of the closed door, glinting just above the scrawled  **_Yamaguchi Tadashi_ ** _.  _ “I’m not sure if he’s awake right now, though,” she added, but Tsukishima only vaguely heard her words as he surreptitiously leaned toward the thin window to peek inside:

 

A face half-obscured, a set of hands- pale, thin hands,  _ probably cold-  _ fluttering lightly;  _ he’s talking with someone. _

 

“Oh, I guess he  _ is _ awa-  _ wait,  _ Kei, you can’t just-!” Aika whispered urgently as Tsukishima reached forward for the door without a word and slid it open, making the motion of the hands pause.

 

Stepping into the room, three heads turned toward him, though Tsukishima was only focused on one, watching as dark eyes widened in a ghost-pale face. “Tsukki? What’re you doing here?” Tadashi rasped, quiet but still perplexed.

 

_ His voice…  _

 

“I told you to just go home if you weren’t feeling well,” Tsukishima said flatly, and he watched Tadashi blink before smiling sheepishly. 

 

“‘m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you worry,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, smiling apologetically- closed eyes, crinkles by the corners, half-teeth smile. That part was the same as it always was; it wasn’t what Tsukishima noticed. What he  _ did  _ zero in on was the cannula strung over Tadashi’s ears and hooked in his nose for a steady stream of oxygen, the pale flush of his skin, the shaking of his hand at his neck, the dark circles bruised into his eyes, the air of affected nonchalance to fool others into believing he was fine.  _ He wasn’t..  _

 

What also caught Tsukishima’s attention was the sweater pulled over top of his hospital sleeves, long-loved and stretched out over his fingertips: Black, with tiny stars stitched on it. He fought to urge to acknowledge how his heart lurched. 

_ (But he’s alright, he’s alright- he’s right here.)  _

 

“Don’t you have practice now?” another voice broke in worriedly, and Tsukishima broke away from Tadashi to look at his mother, seated by the end of his bed. Tsukishima nodded. 

 

“I just came to let him know since he wasn’t picking up, but he insisted on coming now,” Aika said a little breathlessly as she slipped into the room. Tadashi looked at him incredulously, and Tsukishima felt his ears burn. 

 

“Oh, I didn’t mean to make you come immediately, Kei!” Tadashi’s mother called, guilt on her face. “I’m so sorry! You aren’t in any trouble, I hope?” 

 

“Takeda-sensei said he’d explain,” Tsukishima said plainly, looking over when Tadashi snorted. “What?” 

 

“Nothing, nothing,” Tadashi croaked, thought a faint smile had crept over his face. “I’m just imagining Daichi’s face when you just  _ left;  _ he’s gonna be  _ pissed!”  _

 

“Tadashi!” his mother scolded, but Tsukishima just cracked a faint smile. 

 

“It’s not as if I’m one of the idiot duo, racing each other so obnoxiously they ended up in the wrong damn prefecture and getting lost,” he said, feeling pride warm in his chest when one of Tadashi’s hands came up to muffle a giggle, “they know where I am, so if he  _ really  _ wants to get me, he can get through the same three levels of clearance I had to just to confirm I actually was able to see you. Something tells me the staff wouldn’t quite appreciate the cacophony of Karasuno in here, however.”  _ That  _ broke Tadashi into full-blown peals of laughter, heavy and painful-sounding as he smothered it in his hand. 

 

“It’s just a cold, really; there’s no need for all the fuss,” Tadashi argued lightly, but there were still traces of laughter in his voice and on his face. “After all, it’s just me.” 

 

Tsukishima cocked a silent eyebrow, one hand on his hip.

Tadashi’s face shifted entirely, eyes widening and hand lowering. 

 

“Well, it seems that the worst has passed,” another voice piped up, and Tsukishima looked over to the nurse who’d been checking up on Tadashi when he walked in. “You sound much better, and it seems the medicine’s taken hold. You should be good to go home for the weekend,” he finished, smiling warmly. 

 

Tadashi gave him a thankful smile, while both his mother and his sister sighed in relief. Tsukishima let out a slow breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, his chest lighter.

 

“Thank you very much, sir,” Tadashi’s mother spoke up, but the nurse waved her off lightly. 

 

“It wasn’t me who did anything,” he said, but she shook her head. 

 

“You’ve been a great help,” she insisted, standing. “Now, may we speak outside for a moment? I have a few questions.” The nurse blinked, but nodded, and she smiled. “Aika, come with us as well,” she said, and Tsukishima saw Aika pause. 

 

“But why do you-?” she started, but her mother gestured subtly toward Tsukishima, and Aika’s widened-  _ “oh,  _ oh, okay- let’s go then,” she stammered, and Tsukishima wanted to laugh, knowing she meant no harm.  Eventually they filed out, and Tsukishima felt a hand lightly on his shoulder, seeing Tadashi’s mother give him a smile before sliding the door shut behind her. With that, it was silent, empty,  _ painful  _ as the two stared at each other without a word.

 

For someone who reserved words for the perfect unwasted moment, Tsukishima could feel an astounding maw behind his breastbone pounding in time to his heartbeat, a need to say  _ something-  _

But nothing came.

 

Thankfully, Tadashi took up the slack. 

 

“You really didn’t have to come,” he said, voice small, “I was going to call you soon anyway.” 

 

“It was because you  _ didn’t  _ call that I’m here now,” Tsukishima retorted, and Tadashi winced. 

 

“I’m sorry, Tsukki, but I just-“

 

“-When did you pass out?” Tsukishima interrupted, cutting Tadashi off. He didn’t answer, hands twisting the edges of his sleeves. “Yamaguchi-“

 

_“I didn’t want you to worry,”_ Tadashi blurted, forced our in a single rough breath that made Tsukishima reel back mentally. “You have other things to worry about and _I’m_ _not one of them._ I’m alright, really,” he insisted, a stubborn edge in his voice and in the lines of his white-knuckled hands. 

 

_ I almost called you a dozen times. I contemplated calling your family. I was tempted to just walk to the train station and walk to your house. _

_ I’d be damned if there was something I worried more about than you in that moment. _

_ (Then why didn’t you go?) _

_ (I don’t know.) _

 

“Tadashi,” Tsukishima started thinly, “you’re an idiot.” 

_ (Tadashi, you’re an idiot, because I love you.) _

 

He felt copper embarrassment drip down his spine as he watched Tadashi process the words, mouth opening just slightly in shock, the paleness of his face going daylily pink. Tsukishima jammed his hands into his pockets, looking away, hoping the silence in the room would devour him.

 

“Thank you.” 

 

Tsukishima’s fingers tightened in his pockets. “Don’t be stupid,” he mumbled, and flinched when he heard Tadashi giggle.

 

“Tsukki, are you blushing? Your face looks weird,” Tadashi teased, only grinning when Tsukishima flared at him. “You  _ are!”  _ Tsukishima just sighed. 

 

_ If I had to pick someone else, I wouldn’t be able to- _

_ Nor would I want to.  _

 

“And for the record, you’re stupid too,” Tadashi added, making Tsukishima knit his eyebrows.

 

“Sorry?”

 

Tadashi’s grin turned bashful. “If only took you forever to finally notice.” 

 

Tsukishima blinked. “Notice what?” 

 

Tadashi shook his head, instead reaching for Tsukishima and tugging on the edge of his jacket- a silent question, a misdirection.

 

Tsukishima blew out a breath, moving over until he was beside Tadashi, legs stretched out beside Tadashi’s folded ones under the covers.

 

And they talked.

And talked.

And talked. 

About everything and nothing, talking like they’d lost  _ months  _ between them, an odd ice breaking between them that neither was conscious of being there. 

 

When Tsukishima felt fingers creep gently toward his own, he smiled and twined them in his own, continuing his conversation about one of the lessons Tadashi had missed.

(Neither felt a need to say anything more.) 

 

Patchwork, clockwork, pinpoint- there was no need for anything wasted between them, and Tsukishima was perfectly content with that fact. 

 

_ I just needed a little push to shift my view sideways- he was there the whole time, waiting. _

_ Of course.  _

 

(Later, if the others found the two asleep against each other, hands still linked together as they breathed to the beat of a heart monitor and Tsukishima’s head nestled against the fabric of the sweater he once knew so well, they wouldn’t say anything.

 

Well, except maybe Aika, who accidentally let slip that fact to Daichi while talking with him about Tsukishima’s abrupt departure, who casually told it to Suga, and ended up spreading through all of the club like wildfire. 

 

So naturally,  _ everyone  _ knew about it by the time they both came back to school.

And naturally, Tsukishima ignored them, as usual.)

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! :D  
> Comments and critiques are highly appreciated, and I hope you stick around for more of this series!


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